Palliative medicine specialist highlights need to ‘focus on the living rather than the aspect of dying’ this Hospice Care Week
A brave woman who shared her experience of palliative care at Cynthia Spencer Hospice before she died, said she did so to try to change people’s perceptions of hospices.
Before she passed away last month, Fibi Bibi was determined to reassure those faced with the prospect of going into a hospice that there is “nothing to fear”.
She said: “Everything is dignified, and you are treated with such respect. There is just so much love in the building and everyone has been so kind. I have made some real friends whilst at the hospice and been adopted by other families too.”
Fibi’s story highlights the precious moments in palliative care as part of Hospice Care Week (7th to 13th October).
As part of the awareness drive, the hospice has launched an insightful campaign highlighting the dedication of palliative care staff and the significant difference their efforts can make to patients and their families.
The Two Sides To Every Story campaign focuses on hospice experiences, both from the perspective of families using the hospice and the kind-hearted staff who work there.
Fibi Bibi, aged 62, said she was terrified when told by her consultant, Dr Bhavyang Acharya, that it was time for her to go to a hospice for pain management.
She requested that she go to Cynthia Spencer Hospice in Northampton, as her father had passed away there 31 years prior, and Dr Bhav, as he is affectionately known, also works at the hospice.
She said: “I was absolutely petrified when I arrived at Cynthia Spencer. You think it means ‘the end’, but for me, it was just the beginning. It is just part of the journey.
“Dr Bhav was amazing. He fought for me to go to Stoke Mandeville Hospital for pioneering surgery on my spine. He also worked hard on finding the right medication to manage my pain effectively.”
Knowing Fibi was a massive Formula 1 fan and that the British Grand Prix was taking place in Northamptonshire while Fibi was at the hospice, Dr Bhav and the Cynthia Spencer Hospice Charity team surprised her by arranging for her to go and see the F1 qualifying at Silverstone. Unfortunately, Fibi experienced some medical issues which meant that she couldn’t attend.
“I couldn’t go but that didn’t matter,” said Fibi. “That gesture meant the world to me. Dr Bhav is not a saint, but he is close to it in my eyes – He’s amazing. I couldn’t wish for a better consultant.”
Dr Bhav has worked at Cynthia Spencer Hospice for 15 years as a consultant in palliative medicine. As part of his role, he works at the hospice and visits patients in their own homes. Patients, like Fibi, often praise Dr Bhav, not just for his incredible care and compassion, but also for the way he goes ‘above and beyond’ for them.
When asked why he goes ‘above and beyond’, Dr Bhav said: “Rather than just focusing on the aspect of dying, I like to focus on the living that a person has yet to do too. By that I mean that though we can’t change the unchangeable, we can continue to support and care for a person holistically. The person is still very much valued and loved even though they are experiencing something tragic. Hope is very important. Where I can, I try to give patients hope for something to look forward to.
“What I do doesn’t feel like going above and beyond, although it is nice that people think that and feel well cared for.
“It is a privilege for me to get to know people and their families and be welcomed into their homes. It doesn’t escape me that I am made to feel so welcome by families at a time when they are feeling vulnerable and scared.”
“I am lucky to work with lots of lovely people at Cynthia Spencer Hospice too,” he added. “Everybody has a ‘can do’ attitude and wants to help. Rather than always feeling the need to ‘do’ something, it is sometimes more important to ‘be’ with patients on their journey through life, providing company, comfort and compassion for their journey.”
To find out more about how you can support Cynthia Spencer Hospice, visit https://cynthiaspencer.org.uk//how-you-can-help-us/